Ten Thousand Failures

Thomas Edison once mentioned to reporters that he had tried over 10,000 materials as filaments for his new invention, the electric light bulb. One reporter asked how the young inventor maintained his persistence in the face of so much failure. “Failure?” he responded. “I didn’t fail. What I did was successfully eliminate 10,000 elements which were unacceptable for my needs.” What most people would call failure, Edison saw as the process of invention.

The ability to accept so-called failure simply as information and then make corrections without self-invalidation is rare. However, it is a critical key to success. Accepting defeat or criticism is never easy, but it is those people who take feedback and make corrections who create lasting success.

Everyone fails. Everyone makes mistakes and has painful experiences. Most people just complain about them, justify them or blame someone else. The self-actualized person learns from them, adjusts, and goes on. No self-condemnation. No pity parties. No blame. Just awareness and correction. It’s not what happens to us but rather what we do with what happens to us that makes the difference.

How do we make corrections without self-invalidation? Here’s an example: If we were to fly to a distant city, our flight would be off course more than 90 percent of the time. Constant feedback and correction would be required to reach our intended destination. As we drift off course, the guidance system reports to the autopilot, and the autopilot makes the necessary adjustments. As our altitude drops or increases slightly, the same thing occurs. This feedback and correction cycle continues over and over again hundreds of thousands of times throughout the course of our flight.

Can you imagine such an exchange of information between two people? After about the hundredth time, the pilot would probably lose it with the navigator. “Stop it! Just shut up and leave me alone. I’m doing my job!”

But the autopilot never gets angry at the guidance system for its constant correction and the guidance system never makes the autopilot wrong for being off course. It is the ultimate in correction without invalidation. We can all learn from this analogy. Being off course doesn’t mean we are wrong or bad. It’s just information that we can use to make a correction.

Many of us use computers. When we don’t get the results we want, we often blame the computer. But usually the problem is not in the hardware; it’s in the programs or in the instructions we give it. The computer can be flawless, but if the instructions are faulty, the intended outcome will be undesirable. Although we may get frustrated with computers, and with ourselves for errors, it’s counterproductive to blame the system or ourselves.

Like computers, we humans often run programs (belief systems and strategies) which result in failure. We frequently make ourselves wrong for being less than perfect. We berate ourselves for our mistakes or don’t admit our mistakes be­cause that would mean we’re bad. We spend huge quantities of emotional energy in justifying or feeling guilty rather than looking for different approaches that will bring success. To overcome adversity, we must redirect this energy in better ways.

Self-invalidation is a debilitating disease. It keeps us from accomplishing much that we would attempt if we weren’t so afraid of failing—of being wrong. More is lost from not doing something than from trying and failing. The price of doing nothing is high. The money you don’t make is more than the money you may lose.

As Robert Schuller asks, “What great thing would you attempt if you knew you couldn’t fail?” It’s worth serious contemplation because, in fact, there is no failure.

Like Edison, we need to view our errors as part of the process of success. If we learn to embrace them and use them, they can become our tools instead of our enemies.

by Michael Angier
Success Networks International
Success Net is a worldwide association committed to helping people become more knowledgeable, productive and effective. Their mission is to inform, inspire and empower people to be their best—personally and professionally. Free subscriptions, memberships, books and SuccessMark™ Cards

10 Habits of Highly Functional Brains

If you are reading this, the good news is that you have a brain inside your head. And you have probably read about the emerging brain fitness movement: frequent articles in the media, an ongoing PBS special, more and more products and games.

Newsweek’s Sharon Begley recently wrote that “With the nation’s 78 million baby boomers approaching the age of those dreaded “where did I leave my keys?” moments, it’s no wonder the market for computer-based brain training has shot up from essentially zero in 2005 to $80 million this year, according to the consulting firm SharpBrains.”

Now, before you embark on buying any of those programs, you should know that there is a lot we can do without spending a dime. Based on dozens of interviews with scientists and recent research findings, let’s take a look at some of the habits of Highly Effective Brains:

1. Learn what is the “It” in “Use It or Lose It”.

A basic understanding will serve you well to appreciate your brain’s beauty as a living and constantly-developing dense forest with billions of neurons and synapses.

2. Take care of your nutrition.

Did you know that the brain only weighs 2% of body mass but consumes over 20% of the oxygen and nutrients we intake? As a general rule, you don’t need expensive ultra-sophisticated nutritional supplements, just make sure you don’t stuff yourself with the “bad stuff”.

3. Remember that the brain is part of the body.

Things that exercise your body can also help sharpen your brain: physical exercise enhances neurogenesis.

4. Practice positive, future-oriented thoughts until they become your default mindset and you look forward to every new day in a constructive way.

Stress and anxiety, no matter whether induced by external events or by your own thoughts, actually kills neurons and prevents the creation of new ones. You can think of chronic stress as the opposite of exercise: it prevents the creation of new neurons.

5. Thrive on Learning and Mental Challenges.

The point of having a brain is precisely to learn and to adapt to challenging new environments. Once new neurons appear in your brain, where they stay in your brain and how long they survive depends on how you use them. “Use It or Lose It” does not mean “do crossword puzzle number 1,234,567″. It means, “challenge your brain often with fundamentally new activities.”

6. We are (as far as we know) the only self-directed organisms in this planet. Aim high.

Once you graduate from college, keep learning. The brain keeps developing, no matter your age, and it reflects what you do with it.

7. Explore, travel.

Adapting to new locations forces you to pay more attention to your environment. Make new decisions, use your brain.

8. Don’t Outsource Your Brain.

Not to media personalities, not to politicians, not to your smart neighbor, not to this blogger… Make your own decisions, and mistakes. And learn from them. That way, you are training your brain, not your neighbor’s.

9. Develop and maintain stimulating friendships.

We are “social animals”, and need social interaction. Which, by the way, is why the Baby Einstein series has been shown not to be the panacea for children development.

10. Laugh. Often.

Especially to cognitively complex humor, full of twists and surprises. Better, try to become the next Jon Stewart, and create your own unique humor.

Keep in mind that what counts is not reading this article - or any other one - but practicing a bit every day until small steps snowball into unstoppable, internalized habits… so, pick your next battle and try to start improving at least one of these 10 habits during the holidays!

By Alvaro Fernandez
Source: Huffington Post

The Two-Minute Self-Hypnosis Technique

By Colin G. Smith

Psychologists and Doctors used to send their ‘impossible’ clients to him and in many instances he helped them to turn their lives around. Milton H. Erickson was one of the most successful hypnotherapists in the world and is often referred to as ‘the father of modern hypnosis.’

One of the factors that set him apart from other change workers was his strong faith in the vast potential of human beings. He knew that when a person stopped stumbling around with their conscious mind and tapped into the limitless ocean of unconscious resources, people could make wonderful changes.

He used to look at a client and say something like, ‘You’ve tried to solve this problem with your conscious mind and failed utterly. Now is the time to access your unconscious resources in a way that resolves this problem effectively.’

Now you may be wondering just how can you really induce self hypnosis in two minutes!?

Well, one of the common misconceptions about hypnosis is that you have to be able to concentrate and go into a profoundly altered state. This could be done, however what we are really interested in is accessing other areas of our mind (i.e. unconscious resources) so that we can make certain changes giving rise to our chosen outcome.

The good news is you can do this very easily and you can give it a go now with the following techniques. No need for deep trance!

Three Magic Doors

This is a classic hypnotherapy technique. I think you’ll be surprised and intrigued at what your unconscious mind conjures up.

Think of a small problem you want to change. For example perhaps there is someone you would like to get along with better

Imagine there are three closed doors in front of you: Door one is labeled, ‘usual way’, door two is labeled, ‘another person’s way’ and door three is labeled, ‘wacky way!’

In a moment you are going to imagine walking through one of those door ways and your unconscious will then present you with a solution or new creative insights.

So as you look at those doors notice which one you are drawn to. Would you prefer to solve the problem in a, ‘usual way’, ‘another person’s way’ or a ‘wacky way!’

And then just allow your unconscious to create an experience behind that door that will give rise to what is known as a ‘ah ah’ eureka moment when you walk through to the other side.

When you feel ready imagine opening the door and walking through, becoming aware of what you are presented with. What do you see, hear, smell and feel? And as you look around what is it that you haven’t noticed yet?

You may or may not know at the conscious level how this experience is going to help you, but you can if you wish ask yourself, ‘how does this experience help me?’ or ‘what new ideas, insights and perspectives does this give me?’

Whenever we are stuck it’s as if our mind is locked into a groove. We can snap out of it and gain creative solutions by accessing the unconscious regions of our mind.

There are many techniques and methods that enable us to achieve this goal such as the ‘three magic doors.’

The Wall

What is it that you’d like some help with?

Imagine a big wall in front of you.

Just allow your unconscious or the creative problem solving parts of your mind to manifest some useful insights on the other side of the wall.

When you feel ready imagine jumping up and looking over the wall. You may have to jump up a few times to gather all the new information!

Playing around with these kinds of rapid self hypnosis techniques will cause you to learn to access more areas of your mind. And as you continue to do so you will find yourself becoming more capable of solving problems creatively.

Colin G Smith is a licensed Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and creator of The NLP Toolbox

How To Generate Big Ideas On Demand

Freeing your mind to think in an innovative way can be as easy as jumping in the shower and tuning out.What if we told you that you could come up with a great idea anytime you wanted?

We can show you how not only to summon new and innovative concepts on command but also to teach your people the same skill. This may sound like an infomercial (”Order our revolutionary system within the next 20 minutes, and we’ll throw in a set of steak knives absolutely free”), but it’s true.

The five techniques outlined below have one thing in common: They free your brain to let your best ideas flow.

As it is, you undoubtedly have too much on your mind. When you’re driving during rush hour, you are too busy dealing with traffic to notice the scenery and enjoy the ride. The following practices eliminate mental traffic and help you liberate the great ideas inside you desperately trying to get out.

1. Shower your way to creativity.

Yep, it’s absolutely true. There is a scientific theory that water hitting your head helps trigger the synapses and that’s why people get great ideas in the shower. But we think it’s simpler than that: The ideas occur because you are not making an effort to think. You aren’t worried about anything. You are not stressed. Hence some of your best thinking occurs.

2. Sleep on it.

Remember how your mom used to say, “Why don’t you sleep on it, honey?” when you were wrestling with a big issue? Well, when it comes to big ideas and problem solving, Mother really does know best.

The next time you want to solve a major challenge or be unusually brilliant, think about it in bed. Don’t push yourself to figure out the answer before you fall asleep. Instead, just go through the issues at hand and tell yourself that you will have the answer in the morning. In our experience, this technique amplifies the power of the shower, because there are even fewer distractions to occupy your mind when you are asleep.

You can employ an alternate version of this while awake. The next time you can’t think of a name, date, or important fact, just tell yourself aloud, “I will not think about this for a while, and the answer will come to me.” This technique clears the traffic in your mind and lets your subconscious go to work. Your answer will often pop into your head the moment you stop “thinking about it.”

3. Engage in mind-mapping

Purging is a great way to make new connections and create bigger ideas. Have a tough challenge to solve? Get a giant piece of paper (write small if you can’t find one). In each quarter of the paper, write a keyword related to the challenge. For example, if you want to plan a cool family vacation, you might write the words “destinations,” “transportation,” “memories,” and “kids.”

Then, in no particular order, begin to brainstorm any word that comes to mind when you think of each of the keywords. For example, for “Transportation”: plane, train, automobile, John Candy, pillows, sleep, sleeping bag, tent, treehouse, memories, dreams, daydreams, smells, popcorn, movies, adventure, pirates, islands, Swiss Family Robinson. Eventually, you will begin to make connections, and ideas that unify the key aspects of your goal will pop off the page.

Strive for as many words as you can, and don’t judge the words. Judging is looking at the traffic when you are driving—it keeps you from coming up with ideas. Eliminate the traffic.

You can employ this simple technique yourself or do it in groups to loosen up your team. Imagine how much fun you’ll have explaining to your family how you came up with the idea of renting a tree house for your vacation in Costa Rica.

4. Schedule Your Daydreaming

We all have a time of day when our brains work the best. For many, it is first thing in the morning, before rush hour. Unfortunately, the CrackBerry addiction has many of us checking our e-mail just when our brains are the most capable of creating.

The moment you check your e-mail, voice mail, or to-do list, you have hijacked your imagination. You have created a mental traffic jam. Do yourself a favor and schedule daydreaming. Unplug during the time that you know you do your best thinking and find a place that makes you feel energized. A lot of people love the local coffee shop. The buzz of conversation, the smells, colors, and energy create a safe haven for the mind to wander. Some prefer the library or the park. Whichever it is, go there. Let your mind wander.

5. Yuk it up.

Laughing is another great way to liberate your brain. Often consciously doing silly-seeming things will get the creative juices flowing. Spin a top. Get an ice cream cone.

As you test these five techniques, you’ll find some work better than others. If it turns out you really do get your best ideas in the shower, be conscious of the circumstances under which they occurred. What was the water temperature like? How long had you been in there? What time was it? Replicate the experience.

You’ll find the effort worthwhile. “The bottom line is that gifted performers are almost always made, not born, and that the journey to superior performance is for neither the faint of heart nor the impatient,” says Rand Stagen, senior partner of Stagen, a management consulting firm that specializes in helping mid-market companies scale. “Just as in sports, becoming an elite performer in business requires struggle, sacrifice, and honest (often painful) self-assessment. Depending on the scope and difficulty of the skill to be learned, it will take months and probably years to achieve a high level of proficiency or mastery.”

Learning how to implement these approaches is often what separates a brilliant thinker from a creative want-to-be. Really. At first, you may feel silly, but we promise they will work.

G. Michael Maddock is founding partner, and Raphael Louis Vitón is president, of Maddock Douglas, a company that invents, brands, and markets products “for companies driven by innovation.”

By G. Michael Maddock and Raphael Louis Viton
Source: Business Week

Motivating Minds - Why You Procrastinate?

People procrastinate when asked to think in the abstract. To some there is nothing so urgent that it cannot be postponed in favor of a cup of tea. Such procrastination is a mystery to psychologists, who wonder why people would sabotage themselves in this way. A team of researchers led by Sean McCrea of the University of Konstanz, in Germany, reckon they have found a piece of the puzzle. People act in a timely way when given concrete tasks but dawdle when they view them in abstract terms.

Dr McCrea and his colleagues conducted three separate studies. First they recruited 34 students who were offered $3.30 for completing a questionnaire within the subsequent three weeks. Half of the students were then sent an email asking them to write a couple of sentences on how they might go about various activities, such as opening a bank account or keeping a diary. The others were asked to write about why someone might want to open a bank account or keep a diary.

For their second study, Dr McCrea and his colleagues recruited 50 students, who were offered the same sums and timespans as the first lot. Half of these students were asked to provide examples of members of a group, for example, naming any type of bird. The task was inverted for the other students, who were asked to name a category to which birds belong.

Finally the researchers asked 51 students, who were again offered cash and given a deadline, to examine a copy of “La Parade” by Georges Seurat, a 19th-century French artist. Half were given information about pointillism, the technique Seurat used to create the impression of solid colours from small dots of paint. The others were told that the painting was an example of neo-impressionism in which the artist had used colour to evoke harmony and emotion. Both groups were then asked to rate the importance of color in 13 other works of art.

As the team report in Psychological Science, in all three studies, those who were presented with concrete tasks and information responded more promptly than did those who were asked to think in an abstract way. Moreover, almost all the students who had been prompted to think in concrete terms completed their tasks by the deadline while up to 56% of students asked to think in abstract terms failed to respond at all.

Theories abound for why people procrastinate. Some psychologists think that those who delay completing tasks do so because they have low confidence that they will succeed in that task. Perhaps procrastinators are perfectionists or they may just be depressed. Others believe they are impulsive and lack self-control. Earlier research has shown that people defer tasks that are unappealing, difficult or expensive, which is no great surprise. Dr McCrea and his colleagues, however, are the first to show that the way in which a task is presented also influences when it gets done.

Those seeking to cajole a colleague, friend or spouse into action might ponder the finding, though perhaps not for too long. It might be better to offer a procrastinator a concrete choice—Lapsang Souchong or Darjeeling?—rather than asking him just what sort of a person it is who would drink tea when time is of the essence.

From The Economist print edition

The Action

Great article over at PluginID which examines the human potential to improve performance based on visualizing success.

“An article written in the mid-20th Century by Research Quarterly put together a study on the actions effects in relation to basketball free throws. 3 Groups took part in throwing basketballs for 20 days, measured on their results in the first and last day. The first group actually practiced shooting hoops every morning, the second group didn’t do anything for the 20 days and the third group performed the ‘action’.

The first group improved 24%, the second group showed no improvement and the third group improved by 23%.”

How did the third group, which performed the ‘action’, manage to improve performance without actually shooting free throws like the first group?

Read more at PluginID

Why Change Can Be A Challenge?

Great article over at Scientific American… Millions of us dream of transforming our lives, but few of us are able to make major changes after our 20s. Here’s why….

“The shortest path to oneself leads around the world.” So wrote German philosopher Count Hermann Keyserling, who believed that travel was the best way to discover who you are.

That was how 22-year-old Christopher McCandless was thinking in the summer of 1990, when he decided to leave everything behind—including his family, friends and career plans. He gave his bank balance of $24,000 to the charity Oxfam International and hitchhiked around the country, ending up in Alaska. There he survived for about four months in the wilderness before dying of starvation in August 1992. His life became the subject of writer Jon Krakauer’s 1996 book Into the Wild, which inspired the 2007 film of the same name.

Read more…

How To Be A Renaissance Man (or Woman)

Based from the book “How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci” by Michael J. Gelb. Leonardo da Vinci was the ultimate multi-tasker: an accomplished scientist, mathematician, engineer, inventor, anatomist, painter, sculptor, architect, botanist, musician and writer. If you want to be a Renaissance Man, you can learn a lot from how Leonardo da Vinci lived and thought. Based on studying his life and work, anyone can emulate da Vinci with the following steps.

Curiosità

Curiosità is an “insatiably curious approach to life and unrelenting quest for continuous learning”. Great minds have one characteristic in common: they continuously ask questions throughout their lives. Leonardo’s endless quest for truth and beauty clearly demonstrates this. What makes great minds different is the quality of their questions. You can increase your ability to solve problems by increasing your ability to ask good questions. Like da Vinci, you should cultivate an open mind that allows you to broaden your universe and increase your ability to explore it. Here are some ways to apply Curiosità:

* Keep a journal. Bring a journal wherever you go and use it often. Write your ideas and thoughts there. Try to write several statements a day that start with “I wonder why/how…”
* Observe according to a theme. Choose a theme and observe things according to the theme for a day. For example, let’s say you choose “communication”. For the entire day, observe every type and instance of communication you come across. You can then record your observations in your journal.
* Stream of consciousness exercise. Pick a question and write the thoughts and associations that occur to you as they are. Don’t edit them. The important thing is to keep writing. This is also referred to as freewriting.

Dimostrazione

Dimostrazione is “a commitment to test knowledge through experience, persistence, and a willingness to learn from mistake”. Wisdom comes from experience and the principle of Dimostrazione helps you get the most out of your experience. Here are some ways to apply Dimostrazione:

* Check your beliefs. Do you hold any beliefs that you haven’t verified through experience?
* Three points of view. First, make a strong argument against your belief. Next, take a distant view of your belief (for example, as if you live in a different culture) and review it. Finally, find friends who can give you different perspectives.
* Analyze the advertisements that affect you. Look at the advertisements in your favorite magazine and analyze the strategy and tactics they use. Find the advertisements that affect you most and find out why.
* Find “anti-role models” to learn from. List the names of some people whose mistakes you want to avoid. Learn from them so that you won’t encounter the same pitfalls.

Sensazione

Sensazione is “the continual refinement of the senses, especially sight, as the means to enliven experience”. According to da Vinci, we can best practice Dimostrazione through our senses, particularly sight. That’s why one of Leonardo’s mottoes is saper vedere (knowing how to see) upon which he built his work in arts and science. Here are some ways to apply Sensazione:

* Write detailed description of an experience. For instance, describe your experience of watching a sunrise in your journal.
* Learn how to describe a smell.
* Learn to draw.
* Listen to different sounds around you. Learn to listen to different intensity of sounds from the softest (e.g. your breathing) to the loudest (e.g. traffic).
* Live in the moment. Practice mindfulness.

Sfumato

Sfumato is “a willingness to embrace ambiguity, paradox, and uncertainty”. An essential characteristic of da Vinci’s genius is his ability to handle a sense of mystery. Here are two ways to apply Sfumato:

* Befriend ambiguity. Find some situations in your past where you faced ambiguity (e.g. waiting to hear if your application for a job you wanted was successful). Describe how you felt.
* Ask yourself questions that relate two opposites. For example, ask yourself how your happiest and saddest moments are related.
* Practice the Socratic method. The goal with the Socratic method is to examine possibilities, and that is done by asking questions, not by giving answers. Socrates was known (and criticized) for asking questions to which he didn’t have answers.[2] The key to using the Socratic method is to be humble. Don’t assume that you or anyone knows anything for sure. Question every premise.

Arte/scienza

Arte/scienza is “the development of the balance between science and art, logic and imagination”. This is thinking with the “whole brain”. Mind mapping is a powerful method that can help you combine logic and imagination in your work and life. The end result of mapping should be a web-like structure of words and ideas that are somehow related in the writer’s mind.

Corporalità

Corporalità is “the cultivation of grace, ambidexterity, fitness, and poise”. Leonardo had amazing physical ability that complemented his genius in science and arts. Here are some ways to apply Corporalità:

* Develop a program for physical fitness. Your program should include three things: flexibility exercises, strength training, and aerobic conditioning.
* Develop body awareness. Study anatomy. Try yoga. Dance. Do some contact juggling. Whatever strengthens the connection between body and mind, go for it.
* Cultivate ambidexterity. Leonardo could work with both his right and left hand and regularly switched between them. You can cultivate ambidexterity by using your nondominant hand for relatively simple tasks like brushing your teeth or eating your breakfast. Later you can use your nondominant hand for writing.

Connessione

Connessione is “a recognition of and appreciation for the interconnectedness of all things and phenomena”. This, in other words, is systems thinking. One main source of Leonardo’s creativity is his ability to form new patterns through connections and combinations of different elements. Here are some ways to apply Connessione:

* Find ways to link things that seem unrelated. For example, you can try to find connections between a bear and the World Wide Web, or geology and the Mona Lisa (real name “La Joconde”).
* Imagine dialogues. Imagine talking with a role model to gain new perspective and insight. Or you can imagine how some role models would discuss your problem.
* Think about how things originate. Take an object and think about what elements are involved in its creation and how.

Source: wikiHow

Google The Brain

Searching the Internet stimulates brain activity in the elderly and middle-aged and may help keep their minds sharp, researchers have found.

The study was carried out by scientists at the University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA) and published this week in the American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry.

“The study results are encouraging, that emerging computerized technologies may have physiological effects and potential benefits for middle-aged and older adults,” said Gary Small, lead researcher behind the study.

“Complicated brain activity”

“Internet searching engages complicated brain activity, which may help exercise and improve brain function,” added Small, who is a professor at UCLA’s Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior.

His team found that – in a similar way to computer games and puzzles – searching the web triggers key centres in the brain that control decision-making and complex reasoning and may help stimulate and possibly improve brain function.

The researchers tested 24 neurologically normal research volunteers between the ages of 55 and 76, half with experience searching the Internet and half with no experience.

The study participants performed Web searches and book-reading tasks while undergoing functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) scans, which record brain-circuitry changes.

Keeping the mind engaged

They all showed significant brain activity during book reading and web searching, but the Internet-savvy group registered a two-fold increase in brain activation during web use when compared with those with little Internet experience.

They said the web-savvy group also registered greater activity in the frontal, temporal and cingulate areas of the brain, which control decision-making and complex reasoning.

“Our most striking finding was that Internet searching appears to engage a greater extent of neural circuitry that is not activated during reading – but only in those with prior Internet experience,” said Small

The study authors noted that their findings are the latest to suggest that complex activity that keeps the mind engaged, such as crossword puzzles or sodoku, may help keep the brain healthy.

“A simple, everyday task like searching the web appears to enhance brain circuitry in older adults, demonstrating that our brains are sensitive and can continue to learn as we grow older,” Small said.

Agence France-Presse

The Body Language Of Love

Communication is more than just words. In fact words are only a small part of communication. One study looked at the influence of words, voice and gestures and found that the message was made up of:

* 7 per cent words
* 38 per cent audible, non-verbal communication (such as voice tone, stress, pace and pitch)
* 55 percent visual, non-verbal communication (such as body gestures, postures and facials expressions).

So what’s good and bad when it comes to body language and the opposite sex?

Smile
Scientists have concluded that the single, simplest expression a person can make with their face that lands positively with another person is the smile. It crosses religions, cultures and races. The most important thing is to make it real.

Behavioral researchers have found that fake smiles are controlled by the cerebral cortex - the conscious part of the brain - but it usually only triggers the muscles in the cheeks that pull back the corners of the mouth.

Genuine smiles are produced automatically by the unconscious brain. It makes the mouth muscles move as in a fake smile, but also contracts the muscles that raise the cheeks causing the eyes to crease up.

When you see someone giving you a fake smile, this is what you’re unconsciously noting - that the smile hasn’t reached the eyes - and if you’re talking to a woman, I daresay it’s off-putting to them.

The way you walk
I can tell you more about a guy from the way he walks than just about anything.

Some men walk like they’re apologizing for even being on the earth, they scurry, while other guys strut around like they’re on the verge of a fistfight and others just seem to glide, natural owners of all they survey.

The way you walk announces your world view more plainly than just about any other aspect of body language, so I invite you to slow your thoughts down next time you’re walking on the street and feel the way you move.

Look at other men: do you see that creepy dude shuffling on the train platform? How about the young punk, chest puffed out, full of false bravado? Can you see the middle-aged businessman, shoulders slumped by the stress of his job and the wasteland of his marriage?

The more you notice these things in other men, the more you’ll able to recognize similarities in how you walk.

Now take a moment to watch an athlete next time you’re near one - not the young bucks, but the older guys who’ve proven themselves on the field, or the skateboard ramp or in the surf - see the way they move in their own time?

Turn on ESPN or FoxSports and watch the way guys like rugby league player Darren Lockyer, AFL star Chris Judd, basketballer Dwayne Wade, NFL quarterback Tom Brady, soccer players like David Beckham walk. They have an economy of movement and awareness of the space their bodies are taking up. Most of all, they do things in their own time.

This is something you can actively practice at the most boring of times: when you’re walking to get a sandwich, when you’re on the way to work; slow it down, stroll, push your shoulders back, pull your chin up, survey the world, own it. Eventually it will become second nature.

Move slowly, take up space, don’t fidget
This bears repeating: only forest animals and guys wearing tight underpants move too quickly. Fidgeting makes you look nervous or unhinged or like you’re waiting for a drug dealer.

Concentrate on slowing down all your movement and becoming more deliberate in your actions. Don’t touch your face and fuss with your hair. Stop adjusting your shirt and picking your underpants out of your crack.

If someone says something to you, don’t snap your head like an eager pup; turn slowly. And for Christ’s sake, don’t jiggle your leg. Women hate leg-jigglers.

My former colleague, Jack Marx, once wrote: “Here was a man who knew where every part of his life was, at any given moment.” Imagine George Clooney at the bar. Hold that thought.

Don’t cradle your drink
Some men carry their beer around like it’s a baby’s bottle, clutched to their chest in front of their heart. It’s very defensive. Lower your drink and hold it by the rim at your hip or leg like you’re a gunslinger.

Have a wide stance
Stand with your feet at least six inches wider than your hips. It makes you seem more grounded, rooted to the earth. And again, keep your shoulders back, but relaxed. This is your kingdom.

Don’t stare … but hold people’s gazes
This is another thing you can practice when you’re going just about anywhere - hold people’s gazes. Practice it and see if you can keep eye contact with someone until they look away. It’s a very powerful signal of dominance and one that women recognize instinctively.

If you look at a woman and, as soon as she looks at you, you flick your eyes away like you’ve been doing something suspicious, you come off as creepy or sneaky. If you’re talking to a woman and you don’t make eye contact at all, you’ll land as insecure.

Examine what you are doing. You’re admiring a woman. There is nothing wrong with this, so don’t be ashamed of it or the impulse that causes you to want to do it; it’s perfectly natural.

What you do need to consider is how it makes the other person feel, so extended staring at women - ogling if you will - is a no-no, especially if the woman is by herself and she could feel threatened.

Don’t ‘peck’
My friend who’s a date doctor introduced me to this concept and you’ll see it every time you walk into a pub. Men leaning into women’s conversations - or pecking like chickens - anxious they’ll miss what a girl is saying to them.

Tilt your head yes, but as a rule you should lean back from women and let them fill the space between you. Which is also why you …

Don’t stand too close
This is such a turn-off to men and women, the TV show Seinfeld even dedicated an episode to the “close talker”. Don’t invade other people’s space, give them a good neutral zone to work with. Once a woman is comfortable with you, feel free to move into this zone.

Mirror
Psychologists have shown that when we feel accord with a person - when we like them or want them to like us - we will unconsciously mimic their body language.

Men do it with men (observe a table full of guys with the hands clasped behind their heads), women with women and males and females do it in mixed company.

Personally, I think if you’re trying to mirror a woman during a conversation, you’re over-thinking things. It is however, a good way to recognize when a girl is feeling empathy with you - you look across the table and she’ll be unconsciously copying your body posture.

This is a good sign.

From the 32nd edition of the Australian Surf Lifesaving Training Manual

Get It Together - How Americans Manage Their Time

The average American spends almost 4 minutes searching for lost keys, television remote controls, mobile telephones and other elusive household items every time one of the little suckers sprouts legs and walks off or so says a survey conducted exclusively for American Demographics by Rochester, N.Y.-based research firm Harris Interactive.

The survey found that not having enough time is the biggest excuse people use for not getting organized. In fact, almost half of Americans (44 percent) say they don’t have time to get their stuff in order. But, ironically, those who are the most organized spend considerably less time looking for lost belongings.

According to the nationally representative survey of 2,288 adults conducted online between February 11 and 13, the 10 percent of Americans who consider themselves “extremely organized” say that, on average, they can locate something they’ve misplaced in as little as 1 minute and 18 seconds, while the 7 percent of adults who say that they are “not at all organized” take an average of 8.5 minutes to locate a missing item.

Disorganization appears to be an equal opportunity trait, with equal numbers of Americans across most demographic groups saying that they are organized. Whether you’re a man or a woman, young or old, with kids or without doesn’t seem to affect your likelihood of being a neat freak. What does seem to matter is marital status. According to the survey, 61 percent of married adults say they are either “extremely” or “mostly” organized, compared with just 54 percent of never-married singles and 49 percent of divorced, separated or widowed adults. Previously married Americans (15 percent) are more than twice as likely as married (5 percent) and single adults (7 percent) to say clutter is their middle name.

Regardless of one’s level of organization, however, 89 percent of Americans say they could use help tidying up some corner of their life. Nearly half of respondents (48 percent) told American Demographics they need help getting their keepsakes in order - the area in most dire need of attention. Quite a few Americans could also use help organizing their closets and clothes drawers (42 percent) as well as their finances, including bills, pay stubs and receipts (35 percent). A significant share of respondents (27 percent) admit they need some help in the garage, at their computer station or with their facts and figures (telephone numbers, addresses, birthdays, etc.).

Of course, if getting organized was all that easy, everyone would do it. Or would they? In addition to time constraints, Americans say that not having enough space is another major roadblock to their organizational efforts - 39 percent use this excuse. Others feel that without the cooperation of everyone in their household, there’s no use even trying (26 percent) or that getting organized is so overwhelming they wouldn’t know where to start (16 percent). Naturally, there are also those who admit that they are just too lazy (22 percent) or that they simply don’t care enough about organization (17 percent) to bother. Not surprisingly, men are the most likely to state apathy as an excuse, whereas women complain more that they are overwhelmed by the idea of getting started.

Still, there are scores of Americans who would be willing to take action, and even pay for some help. According to our survey, 54 percent of adults say that they have purchased or would be willing to purchase containers, furniture, file systems or similar products to help them get organized. Young Americans are the most likely to take this approach. Seventy-two percent of young women (ages 18 to 34) and 57 percent of young men have bought or would consider buying such products. A quarter of those surveyed also say they have built or would consider building new cabinets, closets or shelving space to help them eliminate clutter. And then there are the 6 percent of Americans who would prefer hiring someone else to clean up their mess. Mom was way underpaid.

Byline: JOHN FETTO American Demographics

How to Lead in a Crisis

Best-selling author and careers expert Jim Citrin on How to lead in a crises - The current environment presents us with new challenges and opportunities at an ever accelerating pace. While we are constantly in search of stability and predictability with which to base decisions, it has become evident that very rare events, such as the rise of Google, the collapse of Bear Stearns, and 9/11, just to name a few, occur without warning and obviate all of our assumptions and prior forecasts. This underscores the fact that one of the toughest management challenges is dealing with uncertainty.

So just how do you lead people, manage your investments, and handle yourself when you can’t fall back on past experiences to deal with a situation that no one has seen before? Nobel laureates have wrestled with these seemingly unanswerable questions and have sought to model unpredictable occurrences, which have more popularly been termed “long-tail” events, or “Black Swans.”

To look at these issues in a practical manner, I spoke with Robert L. Dilenschneider, a renowned strategy and communications advisor who formed The Dilenschneider Group in 1991, after having served as CEO of public relations firm Hill and Knowlton. Mr. Dilenschneider has advised major corporations on crisis communications and related issues ranging from mergers and acquisitions and to marketing, government affairs and international media. He has authored twelve books, including the best-selling Power and Influence.

Based on his work over the years and on recent conversations with the renowned financial markets guru and Nobel Prize winner, Myron Scholes, Mr. Dilenschneider has developed four simple rules for managing and leading in times of crisis:

1. Project a Sense of Calm

Just as panic is contagious, so too is a sense of calm, which when it kicks in can settle the frayed nerves of those around you. In a crisis, you should project a sense of continuity, of having managed through similarly difficult predicaments, and of applying the lessons learned in a calm and reasoned manner to the situation at hand.

Responding to such pressure in a cool, calm and collected way requires being guided by your mind rather than your emotions. There are different areas of the brain which govern us when we are thinking clearly and calmly on the one hand and when we are operating in a state of anxiety or fear on the other hand. When it comes to working in a crisis, we perform at our best when we are guided by the prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain that plans and reasons.

When we are scared or anxious, however, we are driven by the part of the brain that produces the fight-or-flight emotions. By simply deciding to project a sense of calm, not only will you be quelling the fears of those around you, but you will be consciously triggering the part of your brain that will enable you to problem-solve your way through the situation.

Whether it is the current credit crisis, the dot-com bust of 2000, the Asian debt crisis of 1997, or Black Monday in October 1987, Wall Street and the economy have been through many “sky is falling” crises. After this passes, the economy and markets will still function and survive, often, healthier than before. As Mr. Dilenschneider said, “Remember; this too shall pass!”

2. Take Early and Decisive Action on Personnel

If you are in a management position during a crisis or period of great uncertainty you should also create an immediate feeling of decisiveness and accountability, according to Mr. Dilenschneider. You need to decide early on which employees you need to let go and which you are going to keep. The goal is to reduce the sense of uncertainty as soon as possible and get everyone focused on the tasks at hand. One dilemma is that the very people who let you get into the current difficulty are often times the best-equipped to help you get out of it.

The analysis of what to do with the individuals involved must be objective and fact-based and must weigh the advantages to the organization of their departure in terms of morale, public perception or operations compared to the loss these individuals in terms of their expertise and relationships. If you decide to retain these individuals, you as a manager must make sure to align their incentives with those of the organization. Once you have decided who to keep, in order to calm down still skittish employees you should reassure them that their jobs are secure — at least until the organization navigates its way out of the crisis.

3. Ensure That the Information You Receive is Accurate

Mr. Dilenschneider has advised scores of clients during many crises and has come to believe that the single most important thing you can do as a manager during a crisis is to ensure that the information flowing to you and your team is comprehensive and accurate. He says that under no circumstances can you delegate the collection of information to subordinates whose interests could diverge from yours or that of the organization. Recognize that they will naturally be focused on their own survival while your concern as a leader is the well-being of your organization. You must play a hands-on role in determining what information you need, how it will be obtained, and how and to whom it will be disseminated.

From a communications perspective, what you say publicly and privately must be consistent. The levels of detail you share may differ, but what you discuss publicly must be both accurate and consistent with what you are saying to your team and more broadly inside the organization. If you violate this rule, the inconsistency will find its way out, into conversations with others and with the media. That then would undermine everything else you are saying and doing and create more, rather than less, panic.

4. Manage Yourself First

Finally, Mr. Dilenschneider stresses that above everything else, the one thing that you must do when disorder replaces order is “seize control of your own head.” In times of distress, it is often easy to get swept away in the flow of events. It is imperative that throughout the crisis, you as a manager take care of yourself, get enough rest, and keep stress levels as low as possible. It is well documented that you make poor decisions when you are tired and stressed. Yet many top executives ignore their own health and state of mind in times of trouble. As a manager, your job is to make good decisions. By taking care of yourself you are helping do your job by improving the quality of the decisions you will make.

To take care of yourself properly, follow the same advice that you surely give to others:

* Put limits on your workday. You can’t function well in your job if you are fatigued. Cap the number of hours you work and carve out enough time to make sure that you get enough sleep and spend some time every day with your family.

* Practice deep breathing and take a nap. Both can be done in a few minutes and can be vital in maintaining your equilibrium.

* Maintain your exercise routine. When a crisis starts to fill up your schedule, the daily workout is often one of the first things to get pushed aside. Make it the last. Exercise keeps your mind sharp and routine helps you retain a sense of calm.

Article by Jim Citrin - Leadership by Example

How to Be Positive During Tough Times

Great article from US News and World Report. Here’s why it’s so important to stop complaining.

It’s too easy to complain right now. You’re paying through the nose for gas, you’ve put off retirement for another five years, your company just sacked 10 percent of your coworkers, and your workload has doubled. Even worse, your CEO made more money than the Chicago Cubs last year. It’s ridiculous! It’s outrageous! And you can’t get a day off to save your life.

Well, you’re probably the reason Jon Gordon, an author, speaker, and consultant, wrote The No Complaining Rule: Positive Ways to Deal with Negativity at Work, because negativity is contagious. It spreads through organizations, hurting performance and productivity. Gordon recently sat down with U.S. News to talk about finding a better outlook on hard times. Excerpts:

Are you suggesting all complaining should be wiped out?

It’s the mindless complaining and the subtle negativity that really destroys organizations and teams.

Complaining is contagious, as we know. You get off the phone and you’re surrounded by people, maybe in a cubicle, and you start complaining to that person next to you, and that person starts complaining to the person next to them. One person can really affect an organization with their negative attitude.

What really separates complaining from other conversation?

There are two kinds of complaints. There’s a chronic, mindless complaining which is just venting and complaining, where you just feel helpless, you feel powerless. No. 2 is because it’s becoming a habit. You’re just so used to doing it.

On the other hand, a justified complaint says: Here’s what I don’t like, here’s what I don’t want, here’s what’s wrong. But here’s what I think we should do about it. It’s all about intent. If you care about the organization and you want something better for everyone, then it’s a positive complaint. If it’s all about your own ego, then you’re not interested in serving the team.

How can almost-retirees stay positive, when they have to stay at work or go back to work because they aren’t financially able to retire?

It’s “get to” versus “have to.” You get to go to work. You get to have a job, versus “have to.” So many people your age are sick. Many people have not even made it to your age. My mom passed away at 59 a year and a half ago. She was young. She was a real estate agent, and she got cancer. When I speak to people in real estate, I’ll say, ‘I know you’re facing a tough market right now, but you get to have this job, you get to live this life. My mom wishes she was in your shoes.’ And that really resonates with them.

You get to drive in traffic. Many people don’t even get to drive a car.

No. 2: They can go to work every day and say, ‘What bigger purpose can I fuel up with today?’ The research is clear—people are the most energized when using their strengths for a bigger purpose, beyond themselves. Older people have a lot of gifts to give in the workplace—a lot of wisdom and a lot of advice. Mentor, teach, share, and serve.

How do you face challenges?

When you’re facing that obstacle, look for the lesson; look for the opportunity in the challenge. Look for the solution in the complaint. Look for the action that needs to take place. The next president of the United States will be someone who has a clear vision for the future and offers solutions, not complaints.

Stay positive. This is not Pollyanna. But you have to have a positive vision for the road ahead. Looking forward—no matter what age you are—and being optimistic is the key.

Gratitude seems to play a big part.

It’s everything. I think it really is everything. All the research on gratitude is so powerful: You see that you can’t be stressed and thankful at the same time. It’s the way our brains and bodies are wired. So you focus on gratitude and you won’t be stressed. It’s the best stress reducer.

Is gratitude in short supply?

No doubt. OK, you’re paying $4 a gallon for gas, and I’m as upset as anybody. But you can say: ‘We’re not paying $8 a gallon. And we live in a free country. We live with so many amenities. We live with so many free things that we can enjoy.’… Instead of focusing on that complaint, you can now be grateful for what you have. And which emotion’s going to uplift you? Gratitude. Which one’s going to enhance your longevity? Gratitude. Which one will strengthen your immune system? Gratitude.

It seems an unusual topic for the workplace.

It’s harder in the workplace, and it’s not as natural. A great example is Doug Conant, the CEO of Campbell Soup. He’s written 16,000 thank-you notes to his employees over the last seven years. The No. 1 reason that people leave their jobs is because they don’t feel appreciated. It’s not only being thankful for your job, but being thankful for the others that you work with.

How successful are some corporate programs aimed at increasing positivity?

It has to permeate the organization. It has to be part of your DNA, of who you are. It works if it’s sincere. It works if it’s real, and if people know you really care about them. I can walk into a restaurant and tell if it’s a fake smile or it’s real. You can walk into a company and tell whether it’s real or not.

You say that negativity fills voids. What voids should companies look out for?

If employees don’t feel seen or heard, or they don’t hear and see, they don’t know what’s going on and they don’t feel communicated with, we will assume the worst. And the great example of that is cancer. Cancer sits alone in the body. It starts acting alone. It’s the same way with a company. If you think you are alone, you’ll act alone. But if you feel like you’re part of the body, part of the whole, then you’ll support the whole.

Copyrighted, U.S.News & World Report, L.P. All rights reserved.

The Lost Art Of Dream Incubation

Dreams can provide us with a direct link to the unconscious, allowing a much larger perspective than our physical senses. They provide an ideal means for honing intuition, for bringing about profound feelings and states of being, for self-exploration, and ultimately, for discovering our own true nature. We can even follow in the footsteps of Tibetan monks who master dream skills as a stepping stone on the path to enlightenment, as the following experience suggests:

“Falling asleep, I remember wondering what truly ‘knowing myself’ would be like. Dreaming, I become aware of this incredible, indescribably powerful ‘Love Light.’ The thought comes that there is no power in the universe like it — it’s absolutely non-judgmental, and dwarfs every worry or desire I’ve ever had. It is peace and simplicity and well-being. It includes sexuality but encompasses far more. Basking in what feels like ‘an ocean of grace’, I begin to realize that I’m not looking at it, but rather that I AM it, recognizing myself.” (C.W., Palo Alto, CA)

1. Choose Your Goal

You can incubate a dream on any topic you choose, but you will have the greatest success with those goals in which you have some emotional investment. Pick a problem or question that concerns you, one which you would be willing to explore. Or, choose an interesting or intriguing goal, one that excites you and with which you can have some fun.

2. Immerse Yourself in the Goal

Engage in activities relevant to the goal. Read books or notes on your chosen subject. Utilize photos, movies, or objects to form associations. Rehearse the situation in the waking state, using role-playing or discussion. Pray or meditate to the goal; fantasize about it. Visualize writing the dream in your journal.

3. Feather Your Nest

Create an atmosphere that will most encourage the dream. Provide a peaceful place to sleep. Choose a time when you are not fatigued, in which you have not indulged in stimulants or heavy food. Have your notebook, pen and light available for recording the dream, or use a tape recorder. Do not give yourself a short length of tape or piece of scrap paper to record–this defeats your confidence in the dreaming process. Retire at a reasonable time if night sleeping, or awake yourself in the early morning hours to return to lighter sleep. You might also try day sleeping.

4. Narrow Your Focus

Write down your request. Outline all aspects of the topic on paper. Get in touch with how you feel about the situation, especially all those reasons for not wanting to resolve or experience the goal. Give yourself permission to discover and explore. The point is to be specific about your goal, but open-ended about the results. Finally, write down the phrase that most clearly speaks to your deepest desires. Use the first person–after all, this is your dream! Date the dream and write “Dream I” if you wish, to indicate to your dreaming mind that you are ready to record.

5. Open Your Expectations

Relax and put yourself in the mood or emotion of your goal. Concentrate on the energy and feeling of the topic. Repeat your goal phrase to yourself. You may, depending upon the topic, choose to adopt one of the following approaches: mantra, affirmation, prayer, or command. If your mind wanders, gently bring it back to the topic. Avoid thinking of alternatives. Think about the topic firmly, but don’t force it. Then let yourself drift into sleep.

6. Sleep and Dream

Trust your dream maker to respond to your request.

7. Recall Your Dream

Try to awake before your usual time to rise: use a music alarm, a partner, or give yourself the suggestion prior to sleep. You might try drinking several glasses of water before sleeping. Don’t move; remain prone and try to recall the images of the dream. Hold on to the feeling tones: these can sometimes conjure up the related dream visuals. When you have the first fragment, turn over in bed to another position–this may stimulate additional dream portions. Try still other positions until you have the fullest recall. Reexperience the dream several times, noting a key word from each segment to help reconstruct the whole dream.

8. Record Your Dream

Record all dreams as soon as possible upon waking. Include the feelings associated with the dream. Title and date the dream, and use the present tense. If, while recording, you have any immediate associations with waking life, note them. If you have no dream recall, simply record the feelings upon waking, or the first thoughts that pop into mind.

9. Reinforce Your Dream

Record each dream! The seemingly trivial can often contain a profound message. Treat all “failures” kindly; encourage yourself to try again. Sometimes the incubated dream will appear on a succeeding night. Share your dream with a partner or group. By yourself, you can try various methods of interpretation. But do something with the dream; actualize it!

First published as Magallón, Linda Lane. “Dream Trek: Incubation Techniques: How To Dream To The Target,” Dream Network Bulletin, 5/3 (1986), 15.

Does Your Brain Have A Mind Of Its Own?

How many times has this happened to you? You leave work, decide that you need to get groceries on the way home, take a cellphone call and forget all about your plan. Next thing you know, you’ve driven home and forgotten all about the groceries.

Or this. You decide, perhaps circa Jan. 1, that it’s time to lose weight; you need to eat less, eat better and exercise more. But by the first of May, your New Year’s resolutions are a distant memory.

Human beings are, to put it gently, in a unique position in the animal world. We’re the only species smart enough to plan systematically for the future — yet we remain dumb enough to ditch even our most carefully made plans in favor of short-term gratification. (”Did I say I was on a diet? Mmm, but three-layer chocolate mousse is my favorite. Maybe I’ll start my diet tomorrow.”)

In a wonderful study conducted at Stanford University in the late 1960s, psychologist Walter Mischel offered preschoolers a choice: a marshmallow now, or two marshmallows if they could wait until he returned. And then, cruelly, he left them alone with nothing more than themselves, the single marshmallow, a hidden camera and no indication of when he would return.

A few of the kids ate the oh-so-tempting marshmallow the minute he left the room. But most kids wanted the bigger bonus and endeavored to wait. So they tried. Hard. But with nothing else to do in the room, the torture was visible. The kids did just about anything they could to distract themselves from the tempting marshmallow that stood before them. They talked to themselves, bounced up and down, covered their eyes, sat on their hands — strategies that more than a few adults might on occasion profitably adopt. Even so, for about half the kids, the 15 to 20 minutes until Mischel returned was just too long to wait.

Toddlers, of course, aren’t the only humans who melt in the face of temptation. Teenagers often drive at speeds that would be unsafe even on an autobahn, and people of all ages have been known to engage in unprotected sex with strangers, even when they are perfectly aware of the risks. (To say nothing of the daily uncontrollable choices of alcoholics, drug addicts and compulsive gamblers.)

What gives? Why are we as a species so often so desperately poor at achieving our goals? If we are, as the selfish-gene theory would have it, organisms that exist only to serve the interests of our genes, why do we waste so much of our time doing things that are not, in any obvious way, remotely in the interest of our genes? How can one explain, for example, why a busy undergraduate would spend four weeks playing “Halo 3″ rather than studying for his exams?

The selfish-gene theory doesn’t, in itself, answer these questions, but there is another facet of evolution that can: The fact that evolution is entirely blind, unable to look forward, backward or to the side. As Charles Darwin observed, evolution invariably proceeds through a process called “descent with modification.” In lay language, this means that Mother Nature never starts from scratch, no matter how useful an overhaul might be. Everything that evolves necessarily builds on that which came before. Our arms, to take one simple example, are adaptations of the front legs of our primate ancestors.

In practical terms, that means that evolution’s products aren’t always particularly sound. Truly dismal solutions are quickly weeded out; if someone has a genetic condition that brings them into the world without a functioning heart, they don’t live long enough to reproduce. But merely adequate solutions (what engineers call “kluges”) — like the awkward, injury-prone human spine, good enough but far from perfect — can stick around indefinitely if better solutions are too far away on the evolutionary landscape.

In the mental machinery that governs our everyday decisions, kluges abound. Take, for example, the scenario described in the beginning of the essay — the fellow who forgets his errand on the way home. His problem is clearly not in finding his way to the grocery store — it’s in remembering to go in the first place.

The problem is that evolution failed to realize that remembering goals is not like recognizing objects. When your brain sees a lion, the thing to do is to decide, lickety-split, to get out of the way. Run first; ask questions later. We’re programmed for just that kind of split-second decision; just about every creature on the planet is built such that it can identify things like predators and prey very rapidly. We’re not programmed to remember precise episodes from the past. Why not? Because remembering the exact date on which you last saw a lion is not particularly helpful when you’re trying to get out of the way.

Alas, evolution didn’t have the foresight to realize that different kinds of tasks require different kinds of memory, and it used the same basic sort of memory for everything, not just for remembering what lions and tigers look like (in which general tendencies suffice) but also for cases — like tracking our goals — where a bit more precision would have been helpful. As a result, trying to remember what to do next can be a little like trying to remember what you had for breakfast yesterday: There are too many breakfasts and too many yesterdays for our biological memories to keep track of.

The same thing can happen with our goals. When you sit in your car late in the day and ask yourself, “What am I supposed to do next?” and all of a sudden the cellphone rings, your brain can easily lose track of which “next step” is the right one. Instead of zeroing in on the specific memory it needs, it may well settle for remembering whatever you’ve done in the car most often — and that’s drive home. Voila, autopilot.

Our attempts to pursue our goals are often thwarted by the fact that evolution has built our most sophisticated technologies on top of older technologies — without working out how to integrate the two. We can plan in advance, using our modern deliberative reasoning systems, but our ancestral reflexive mechanisms, which evolved first, still basically control the steering wheel. When the chips are down, it’s those mechanisms that our brains turn to, and that means that our brains frequently wind up relying on machinery that is all about acting first and asking questions later, squandering some of the efforts of our deliberative system.

No sensible engineer would have designed things this way. Why design fancy machinery for making long-term goals if you’re not going to use it? Yet the brain is structured such that the more tired, stressed or distracted we are, the less likely we are to use our forebrains and the more likely to lean back on the time-tested but shortsighted machinery we’ve inherited from our ancestors.

Still, all is not lost. Even though our short-term desires are pretty good at grabbing the steering wheel of our consciousness, our more recently evolved deliberate minds are powerful enough to regain at least some measure of control.

Consider, for example, the difficulty that most people having in sticking to abstract goals like “I intend to lose weight” or “I plan to finish this article before the deadline.” Nice thoughts, but not formulated in terms that your ancestral, reflexive brain might understand. The work-around? Translate those abstract goals into a form your ancestral systems — which traffic largely in dumb reflexes — can understand: if-then. If you find yourself in a particular situation, then take a specific action: “If I see French fries, then I will avoid them.” As Peter Gollwitzer, my colleague in New York University’s department of psychology, has shown, even simple changes like these can markedly increase the chances of success.

Our conscious, deliberate systems will never have total control, and our memories will never be perfect, but as they say in Alcoholics Anonymous, recognition is the first step. If we come to recognize our limitations, and how they evolved, we just might be able to outwit our inner kluge.

Gary Marcus, a professor of psychology at New York University, is the author, most recently, of “Kluge: The Haphazard Construction of the Human Mind.”

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