Secrets To Overcoming Negativity

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Add to this environmental factor the bad news you are bombarded with daily from the TV, radio, and newspapers-the roller coaster stock market, the exhortations to work smarter, harder, and now, in the dot com economy faster. It is no wonder you are so stressed by negativity that you are tempted to join right in and declare that glass half empty

After all, it is much easier to be negative than positive, because so many people will support you! Very few people are willing to make the effort that it does, admittedly, take to turn around negative attitudes and environments. Some are just plain afraid of the change required. So what can you do?

AVOIDING NEGATIVITY. First, of course, you should turn off those sources of negativity you can control. If you want to see what people are talking about, but don’t want the daily dose of murder, mayhem, and disaster you get from the newspaper, limit your reading to the editorial pages of the Sunday paper. Don’t watch TV news, and listen to CDs instead of the radio. Reinforce positive conversations with family and friends by refusing to be drawn into negative ones.

Avoid negativity at work by cutting down on the time you spend with people who feed the naysayer in you. If the carpool starts your day with double doses of negativity, try pointing out the trend to the participants and asking for a change. If the status quo continues, go to work by yourself, or find a more positive group.

In the office, refuse to be drawn into negative water cooler talk. If you find it difficult to refrain from contributing to it, think of the “Thumper philosophy”: If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. That is not naive drivel, that is stress-reducing wisdom.You will obviously find yourself in shorter negative conversations at first, and, hopefully, you will be creating opportunities to interject something positive by challenging some of the assertions. Ask, for example, “What’s so bad about that?” or “You know, I’ve found that so-and-so really has a lot to offer if you give him half a chance” or “Maybe if we tried Joe’s solution for a while, it will work better than what we’re doing now”

If you are the leader of a workgroup that likes to dwell on what is wrong, insist on identifying what is right whenever possible, truthful, and realistic.You’ll find that your people will follow your lead.

TURNING NEGATIVITY AROUND. Other thoughts to help reduce negativity include:

Deciding what is really important to you and keeping your sense of humor about the rest. Richard Nelson Bolles, author of the perennial best seller What Color is Your Parachute?, suggests writing your own eulogy to help determine what is important. Figuring out what you would like people to say about you after you are gone is quick and to the point!

Finding the courage to change. There are a million self help books-Bolles’ among them. Read a few, or write the ultimate “to do” list. For example, what are the 10 things you would do if you won the lottery?

Taking some time off. You may just not have the energy to turn negativity around because you are just plain tired. The work will wait for you. Take some time off to rejuvenate. Spend some time on a beach, in a beautiful city on a crosscountry trek, or doing something else you have always wanted to do. It could be that two weeks away are enough to make that attitude adjustment; it could also be that a longer sabbatical is what’s needed.

Volunteering. Working with nature, animals, or people less fortunate than you are will help you gain perspective and a renewed sense of hope.You can and do make a difference.

Finally, as a result of things like these, you may find that you are ready for a different work environment altogether-a new company a new job, or even a new career. You can (safely) consider these options with help from the Internet. For example, check out the Keirsey character and temperament sorters-two online personality quizzes (www keirsey com) to learn more about yourself. Or, look at www.monster.com, a nationwide database of job openings with articles about job changing and a cost of living calculator to use when considering relocating.And,you can always use the Web to explore other companies, industries, and even going into business for yourself.

ROBERTA BHASIN is author of Mastering Management-A Guide for Technical Professionals, published by Miller Freeman, Inc. She also conducts seminars and speaks on management for technical professionals.