Why Do We Stress?

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If you do an on-line search on stress, you’ll find a lot of web sites that do a good job of identifying stress with quizzes and tools that measure your level of stress. There’s even a website that has a test to determine whether you even have stress at all… and if they convince you that you do, they’re ready and willing to sell you the cure.

That’s all fine and well, but if I’m stressed, I want to get to the root of the problem. Sure, stress may be because your job is demanding, or the kids are screaming and the bills are due when there’s no money in the bank. Those are stressful situations, but why are they stressful situations?

The first answer that pops in the mind of many is because I can’t pay the bills and I don’t have any control over the situation. Many think they wouldn’t stress if they had control over they’re environment. “If my job wasn’t demanding and I could pay the bills, then it wouldn’t be so stressful.”

Is that really true? If you had more coin in the bank and a really cool career, then your life wouldn’t be so stressful. Or would it?

In this example, are career and money really the root cause of stress? If it wasn’t your job, or the lack of money, it would probably be something else. I know for a fact, people who are rich are not immune to stress. And individuals who have some pretty amazing careers still experience a certain amount of stress that goes along with the pressure’s of most any career.

So what causes the stress in our lives and how do we handle it? I’m one of those people who completely agree that we are the one’s who induce ALL of the stress we experience in our lives. Not just some of it, or a little bit of it…. but all of it. We induce stress in our lives, because at the root of it all, we harbor fear.

I know, some of you are thinking… right… he doesn’t have a clue. The guy who hit my car; nooo… he didn’t have anything to do with my stress levels. Or how about the fact I can’t pay my mortgage, I suppose that’s my fault? What about my job? They’re closing the plant down next week and I suppose that has nothing to do with my level of stress?

What I’m saying is this. In each and every one of those circumstances, if we can come to appreciate and understand the power of our control, we can ultimately begin to change the circumstances that we believe to be the cause of our stress.

Let’s take an example. Suppose you can’t make the mortgage - pretty stressful stuff for most people. Like most people, you don’t really care why it’s stressful; you just want to pay the mortgage so that the stress goes away. I completely understand but if you can’t pay it this month, chances are your going to encounter a similar situation the following month.

Ok, so you’ve decided to figure out why you’re stressed over the mortgage. The obvious reason is because you fear you will lose your home. If you lose your home, you’ll have no place to live, and if you have no place to live, you’ll be walking the streets, and if you end up walking the streets, someone might attack you, and if someone attacks you, you could end up dead and if you end up dead… then you won’t have to worry about the mortgage.

Believe it or not, some people will use that train of thought. But let’s flip it a little. When you experience the inability to pay the mortgage and you are bursting with stress, what is the fear here? When you come down to it, it is the fear of powerlessness. When your talking about any sense of stress, you can always link it back to a fear of being powerless.

Without getting too esoteric here, the reason you are feeling powerless is because you have not identified with that part of you which is creating the situation in the first place. You are the reason you cannot pay your mortgage… not your job or circumstances. Your powerlessness stems from the thoughts and actions you have been processing on a continual basis.

I’m not referring to some new age mama jama. I’m talking about a mindset that says, I don’t have the ability to alter my circumstances for the better, or if I do, it’s very limited. I am powerless to the will of a higher power and if I can’t pay the mortgage, then that’s just the way it is.

And what I’m saying is…. YOU are the higher power. If you were powerful enough to create the inability to pay, you are just as powerful to create the circumstances to actually pay the house off. I know that’s a leap from some people, but if you manage the responsibility of your thoughts, you can reduce, or better yet, eliminate the stress in your life.

There is an article here that goes into greater detail on the law of attraction and how we bring these “stressful situations” in our lives, but in a nutshell, you bring all circumstances in your life by what you tend to focus on. You keep focusing on the fact you can’t pay your mortgage, then that is what you will continually engage.

If you want to reduce or eliminate the stress if your life, then you’re going to have to shift the way you think. This isn’t new or earth shattering information. It’s been well documented. But this is a mindset change you’re probably not going to be able to do overnight. It’s a gradual process that takes time, effort and practice. You have to want to change with the belief you are the creator of your life and not subject to the whims of a God or an unfair universe.

And remember, if all of this is nonsense to you, then just do what my Dad use to tell me…”don’t sweat the small stuff; and it’s all small stuff”. Only he didn’t use the word “stuff”.

Copyright 2006 Robert Hunt